This article took me 3,5 years to write, and I am still not 100% confident that I am knowledgeable enough to speak on the topic. But a certain milestone has been reached which boosted my confidence as a parent-educator – my 3,5-year-old is now speaking Russian fluently (though not always fully legibly yet), while also understanding and conversing in English and Spanish. To say that my husband and I are proud is an understatement. Raising a multilingual child always seemed like such a cool idea to us, but in reality, it ended up being a long and difficult road that has no visible end to it, and I am ready to share everything I learned on the way so far. (As well as keen to hear about your experiences and recommendations!)
A brief introduction to our story: I am Russian and Leonardo’s father is an Italian/Argentinian, with both our families living in our native countries (Russia & Argentina). When Leonardo was born we decided to speak to him in our respective native languages. Leo’s dad chose Spanish versus Italian (even though he is fluent in both) because Spanish is the language that his parents speak, as well as because Spanish is more widely used in the USA where we live. Since birth Leonardo was always exposed to 3 languages simultaneously: Russian (from me and my parents), Spanish (from his dad) and English (from his daytime nanny & now daycare). By the time he was one year old, he could only say “mama” and “papa”. By the age of two his vocabulary grew up to 5-10 words at most, and we were diagnosed with a speech delay, but both I and Leo’s father were standing strong and shoving off any suggestions to switch to English only. We both believed that Leo just needed a little more time, and maybe a little help. At 2,5yo Leonardo started speech therapy in Spanish through Early Intervention program – government subsidized the program to help children with developmental delays. At 3,5yo he got approved for the continuation of the program through CPSE – another governmental subsidized program that will last until Leonardo is 5yo. The breakthrough in his speech happened around the same time (though not necessarily related to speech therapy per se). His vocabulary suddenly jumped from 20 spare words to full sentences and pretty much any topic he feels like talking about. He now talks non-stop, even in his sleep *) His dominant language is Russian, but he understands English and Spanish perfectly and can communicate with his peers and teachers in both secondary languages without the slightest confusion, never mixing them up. His language skills improve daily and drastically, and I am sure while I type this and he is watching another Russian cartoon on YouTube he learns couple new words he would surprise me with tomorrow *)
Now, everyone has their own story and their own very different child. The point of writing all this is not to brag about our success – still a quite questionable one and still work in progress. The point is to inspire and help other parents who like us believe that teaching a child their own language is one of the biggest gifts you can give them for life. Another purpose of this article is to dispel some common myths about children growing up bilingually and to offer suggestions that can help children to become fluent users of two or more languages – all this coming from all the books and websites I read on the topic (many!), as well as from our own experience. Here we go!
TRUTH:
Speaking two or more languages rather than just one has obvious practical benefits in an increasingly globalized world. But in recent years, scientists have begun to show that the advantages of multilingualism are even more fundamental than being able to converse with a wider range of people. Being multilingual, it turns out, makes you smarter. It can have a profound effect on your brain, improving cognitive skills not related to language only. They say that multilingual kids can hold attention better than monolinguals, and struggle less while studying.
There is a distinction between native language/s and foreign one/s. Native language/s are the ones a child learns until he is about 3yo. All other languages that come later become foreign ones, and they record on a different part of the brain. They say, the native language, even if not used actively is never completely lost or forgotten. Foreign languages, on the other hand, are equal to other skills that need the practice to be valid and could be lost if not used regularly.
MYTHS:
1) There is NO scientific evidence to date that hearing two or more languages leads to delays or disorders in language acquisition.
One of the most common concerns I hear from other parents is: “Are we going to confuse him with so many languages?”. No, you won’t, and it’s a scientifically proven fact. Children don’t get confused hearing different languages, they brains work differently than ours. But it might take just slightly bit longer to learn how to speak. Or not. Let me explain why.
Our own example: I remember jumping up to the ceiling when I heard Leonardo saying his own name – Leo – when he was 2 years and 4 months old. It added up to 10 words vocabulary, which was considered as delayed by his pediatrician. By that time Leonardo’s little friend Miro, who was 3 months younger and was also raised multilingual (English & Dutch), could tell you everything about the racing car collection he had (with Porsche and Ferrari being his favorites), as well as request a specific cheese he wants for a snack (“manchego, not mozzarella”), in both languages. Similar age, similar environment and exposure to language but the different outcome – why? Because all kids are different, and their skills develop at a different rate. The same little friend took 18 months to start walking while Leonardo was running by the age of 10 months. Go figure! My point: chances are Leonardo would be speech-delayed even if he was only exposed to one language since birth, just like so many other kids. His language skills are NOT related to the number of languages he hears since birth.
To be fair, there might be a very slight difference in the time of language acquiring skills among children of equal abilities depending on how many languages they are exposed to. Leonardo’s first speech therapist, who worked a lot with bilingual kids in the US, told me that the only difference is this: normally, a child learns to understand what you say first and then learns to replicate it. A multilingual child has one extra step in between: after he learns to understand what you say, he also learns to identify that you speak a different language than another person. only after that, he learns to replicate. this little extra step can take either no time or almost forever, but in no way, it will prevent your child from speaking fluently eventually.
2) Children do not just “pick up” a language: They need a strongly supportive and rich environment.
I somehow thought it would be easy – I will just speak Russian, my husband would speak Spanish, and we would raise a polyglot. I was so wrong. Raising a multilingual child is nothing but easy. It is a LOT of work and it requires a commitment for life. But luckily I didn’t realize all that when we started, and then it was too late to give up *) (so just skip this part and keep doing what you are doing!)
I will share some tips about creating this kind of environment below. But generally speaking, it is NOT enough if you once in a while talk to your child in your mother’s tongue. You will need to create a whole world of language for him, and it’s better to be a convincing and an exciting one because eventually, it will compete with the major language spoken in his everyday life, among his peers.
3) Once learned, you can’t lose your mother’s tongue.
It might slightly contradict what I said about above the difference between native and foreign languages but what I mean here is that you should never think that raising a multilingual child is a 3 years task. Yes, it’s true that the first couple of years are the most important, but after that, you need to keep up with his growing intellect and abilities in general and expand language skills further. Scientists say that once a child becomes more independent/starts school, the majority language will take over and mother’s tongue might convert into being receptive – that is, an understanding level only. It’s very common that in multinational families a child understand all languages but communicates only in the majority one. So it’s our tasks as parents to keep teaching and encouraging our respective languages for life. There are some how-to tips below.
TIPS:
1) “One parent = One language” rule.
A pretty straight-forward tip we implemented since the very beginning without question, so I don’t know how it could be otherwise, but logically it does make sense: you ONLY speak one language to your child, period. Now when Leonardo is actually able to speak himself, he does ask me to stick to Russian with him when sometimes I switch to English or Spanish. (he says: “Noooo, mama says “Privet”, not “Hi”) The way scientists explain it is: a language is a strong emotional connection for a child, that’s why it’s so important that your way of communication with him doesn’t change drastically, at least not during the first 3 years of life. Again, now Leonardo who is 3,5 years old sometimes initiates speaking English with me (mostly as a game, almost like testing if I can do it), but I always let him decide when he wants to do it.
Side note: speaking to your child only in your own language can be a little inconvenient if your partner doesn’t speak – less so, understands – the language, as well as when you are interacting with other people socially. My approach: Just stick to it and don’t winch. You are not being rude excluding other people from the conversation; you are teaching your child a very important and very difficult skill. Your child’s comfort is your priority, other people should adjust and understand. If they don’t – it’s their problem, not yours. Sorry, not sorry.
2) 3-dimensional language learning: speech, reading, and writing.
Another thing I luckily didn’t quite apprehend when I started this journey – that teaching Leonardo Russian won’t stop at teaching him to speak. He needs to be able to read and write, and communicate with other people on more sophisticated subjects than the domestic matters we usually discuss. Something that comes naturally and is taken for granted when you are being educated in one language not only by your parents but also by your peers, school, TV, lifestyle around you, country you live in – it actually will take a LOT of effort when you are the ONLY source of language for your child. They say that music for them comes first, before anything else – so I was sure to have all nursery songs for Leo in Russian, as well as I,got into the habit of humming all kind of lullabies, always embarrassingly out of tune, in my native tongue. Reading in your mother’s tongue is essential. For Leonardo we created a library in 3 languages, and if it happens that he wants me to read him a book that we only have in English, I usually surdo-translate it into Russian (or make up my own story based on pictures) Also, most probably it will be you (yes, you!) who will do introduction to letter recognition in your language aka the beginning of reading process. So not only books but also building blocks and posters with your native tongue alphabet are useful. There are quite a few iPhone/iPad educational games I find handy (if used timely and wisely), as well as at certain age watching cartoons (also, limited and at the right time) in your mother’s tongue is very beneficial. For example, our Kids Netflix session is set up in Spanish, as well as I find all popular American cartoons in Russian for him – so when he has screen time he is only exposed to his native tongues, and it’s not just an entertainment but also an educational process for him.
3) Immersion/creating the right environment: Family, native language country visits, playdates.
You won’t make it all on your own, no matter how hard you try. Even if there are 2 of you (meaning both parents speaking the same language). Time will come when parents are not the center of the universe anymore, and you by that time you better be ready to validate the importance of your mother’s tongue. This is when you will be asked “Why should I make an effort?” in your face. Provide your child with other types of interactions in your mother’s tongue and prove them by example why it is important for them to speak that “other” language than the majority one they hear daily. That could be communicating with their grandparents, going to your country regularly, organizing playdates with local kids their age who speak the same language, taking them to schools/ classes/activities conducted in your mother’s tongue.
4) Outside help: speech therapy, dual language schools/programs.
Don’t say no to help, especially if someone offers it for free. I wish I started Early Intervention program for Leonardo earlier – we could do it when he turned 1 year old, but we were so hopeful he would manage on his own, so we waited until official diagnosis – “speech delay” – until he was 18mo, and then it took another 6 months for the extremely beaurocratic though fair procedure of acquiring an excellent service at your home convenience at no charge. Leonardo had 3 speech therapists since then and each of them helped immensely. Also, I enrolled Leo in an age-appropriate Russian program – half-day Sunday Russian school, as well as an art class conducted in Russian. This was a very pricey but very worthy addition to the outside help I decided to have in my journey of raising a multilingual child.
As I am typing all this I am thinking back to every day of the past 3,5 years trying to remember every little thing that brought us to where we are right now, and there is way more than I can possibly account for or write about, like me talking to Leonardo non-stop in Russian, way before he could even understand all the words. I probably looked like a mad person walking with a stroller and talking out loud to myself to anybody passing by. Many hours spent on research, even more hours spent on doubt, steep, at times disturbing learning curve, expensive extra-curriculum, social embarrassment, parent’s guilt, and every other little effort you make – but it’s all worth it when you one day you hear your little baby speak different languages better than most grownup people you know. Wouldn’t you want it for yourself?? If you do – then do it for him, and never doubt that it’s all worth it.
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