dear Leonardo,
time changes, times flies so fast, and you are not anymore a tiny bundle of joy that nurses and sleeps most of the time – now you are a chubby, energetic, smiley little human being who is extremely curious about the world, impatient to learn and try all kind of different things. every day we play, we read, we watch, we sing, we learn, we fool around. and now we also walk – well, almost. you stretch towards me, grab my fingers, press your feet off the floor and stand up, wriggling and giggling at the same time. and then you walk forward, unsurely, stepping high, and then you grunt, happily. it’s your most favorite thing to do now. and it makes me happy and a tiny bit sad at the same time. why are you growing so fast? you are just 7mo! don’t rush, stay little, stay mine, never grow up, please!
but I know it’s impossible, and I don’t really want it (or – better – I keep on reminding myself that I can not really want it). what I want for you is to grow strong, healthy, happy, and independent, and do all the things in the world that you can possibly find interesting for yourself. I will always support you in all your endeavors, no matter how crazy they are (just as my mom always did for me), and I will always be there if you fall to give you my hand to stand up again. like someone said, that the best thing you can do for your children is let them be. (please remind me I said that when you are 16, and I am getting on your nerves about the music you listen or the hair color of your choice)
somehow, while I was writing this, my wedding vows I once made for your Dad came to my mind, and it feels right to dedicate them to you as well, and live by every word:
“I have no fear of losing you, for you aren’t an object of my property, or anyone else’s. I love you as you are, without attachment, without fears, without conditions, without egoism, trying not to absorb you. I love you freely because I love your freedom, as well as mine.”
with Love,
your mama, always
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